Safety of Children in Ritual

Question:

When is it 'safe' to include small children in rituals and so forth? I believe that testy spirits and so forth target small children and this truly disturbs me. we have a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old and I really want to include them in our religion but I'm on a fence of how and when. I want to start teaching our daughter (2 1/2) more but I worry she may be targeted by spirits as a result of her numerology and I believe that if developed she'll have great talent and 'power' in magick, she already shows her pyschic side at times!

Answer:

First of all, I'd have to say that if you are looking at Wicca or other form of Paganism as a religion, then your fears, while understandable, are very easily addressed. Pagan religion poses no more spiritual danger to children (or adults, for that matter) than does Christianity. If you're more into occultism, or spirit-summoning, in your workings, then you are talking about another whole ball of wax, and one that I won't attempt to get into in this forum.

However, for the average Pagan whose religion involves Sabbat and Esbat celebrations, Moon circles, or other circles and rituals, I would venture to say that the most dangerous thing about including your children in them would be the chance of their setting themselves on fire by tripping over your ritual candles. A circle, by its very nature, and if cast properly, is a realm of protected sacred space. And even a less-than-perfectly constructed circle, if cast by a parent, is going to have the added "oomph," if you will, of that parent's natural protective instinct. Most parents, whether they realize it or not, are laying down a blanket of protection over their children every time they tuck them in and kiss them goodnight; no fancy words, incense, or rituals needed. How much more so, then, when we begin a religious ritual at Sabbat time by cleansing the space and casting a circle, would these protective forces be in place?

I seriously doubt that any spirits, testy or otherwise, specifically target small children in the way you are suggesting. Numerology, innate magical ability, or birth signs on the part of your children notwithstanding, any spirit consigned to needing an unformed mind (and/or vessel) in order make mischief is probably not powerful enough to pose a significant threat. Further, when children are brought up with knowledge and a solid base of information about spiritual matters, they are far more likely to be immune to such attacks, if they were to occur, than they would be were they left uneducated and unincluded. A young child's will is much more pure and focused than about 90 percent of the adults' I know, anyway; while not unassailable, in my experience, a child within a parent's protected circle is as safe as he or she is anywhere on earth.

My suggestion would be to begin to teach your children as their interest and ability to understand develops. Praying with them at bedtime, telling them stories of the god/goddesses that you follow, finding child-friendly holiday activities for them: these will give them a sense of your religious priorities and preferences, and prepare them to be included more fully in your practices. A great start for many Pagan parents has been Circle Round, a terrific resource for songs, stories, projects, and other activities geared towards sharing your religion with your children in ways that are fun and interesting.

The best way you can protect your children from anything in this world (or out of it) is to arm them with information and a strong sense of self. Putting a 4 month old in a circle is probably not really necessary, unless you're doing some healing or the like, and a 2 ½ year old is likely to find it too overwhelming and wind up having a bad experience, if mom or dad has to fuss at her to sit down and be quiet. Activities should be age-appropriate. Having your daughter help decorate your altar for Samhain, setting an empty place at your dinner table and explaining that significance, taking her for a walk and talking about the signs of a changing season: these are going to do her much more good than dragging her into a ritual Samhain circle and expecting her to behave appropriately. As your children get older, and if their interest is apparent, you might consider taking them to a public ritual, where children are welcome and things are rather casual (not to mention brief). This way, by the time they are old enough to appreciate and benefit from more "formal" religious ritual, they will have a background that is firm enough so that they are comfortable and safe there.

One last note on the harassment of pesky spirits; in my personal experience, you have far less to worry about in a circle than you do in regular, day to day life. There are predators in our world today that demand much more parental vigilance than does some nefarious, otherwordly creep. Don't forget to teach your children common sense in dealing with other people, strangers and friends and family alike. And remember, there are hundreds and hundreds of children attacked right in their own churches and homes, for crying out loud, by the very adults they trust most. Help your children develop of strong sense of self-esteem. Show them they can trust in their right to talk to you about ~anything~ they need, no matter how difficult it might seem to you, as parents. And allow them the ability to make choices about their lives, even if very small ones ("Would you like grape jelly or apple, today?") This will give them a foundation of confidence and yet a freedom to ask for help without fear of giving up their sense of self-identity, and when it comes right down to it, what better weapon does any of us have against unwanted attacks than this?

Hope this helps... good luck and have fun with your children's spiritual education. Another real weapon against ugliness is a sense of joy!